Thought I'd share first hand what the last 48 hours have been like after getting one of the anthrax letters at the AAP office -

          I was at a meeting, and arrived at 10:30 to find police and firefighters leaving the building. My staff was still meeting with the public health nurse, who was reassuring everyone and getting contact phone numbers. Everyone was sent home to take a shower, and we all took work home.

          I initially dismissed the whole thing, and was immensely proud that my staff didn't open the envelope, following protocol perfectly (although later one police officer said that they knew if they broke protocol, Cipro wouldn't help because their boss would kill them!). However, at around 5 PM the tests on the envelope showed positive and the public health dept. began tracking us down - I returned home from a meeting around 8:30 PM to 3 messages on my machine from DPH and frantic messages from staff - saying tests were positive and to come to the Cambridge ER immediately. (my staff insists I'm crazy not to have a cell phone, which they all have, of course.)

          When I got to the ER one of my staff was there with her family, looking quite shaken. I was treated after a 1 hour wait - nasal swab and a dose of doxycline, and a packet of pills to take home - but waited for our intern to come in. She came alone at 10 PM, and I waited with her until she was seen around midnight. Meanwhile, all of the Fed Ex drivers, police, and firefighters who had responded were coming in - 21 of us in total were seen Thursday. It made for a long, sleepless, anxiety-provoking night.

          Actually, this incident had some silver linings. Waiting in the ER room for hours w/ police and Fed Ex drivers who also needed to get prophylactic antibiotics (and why they couldn't see all of us at once is beyond me!), one of the drivers said, "I thought I knew what I thought about abortion, but when I see what these people are willing to do to make their point, maybe I have to change my opinion!"

          Suddenly there is a shift - "They" are terrorists and the rest of us, pro and anti-choice, are united against them. I had my staff over for breakfast (our offices were sealed by the Dept. of Health until 10 AM) and we all remarked at how supportive all the firefighters, police and others had been - amazing. At about 9:15 we got a call that the CDC lab in Atlanta had "cleared" us, and that the tests were totally negative.

          Now I truly understand how providers must so often feel, and my admiration for all of them, and my commitment to continue to fight for our reproductive rights, is even stronger.